I'll never forget that feeling of being on my own
Life was pretty good before mum went to jail – I was just going to school and playing with my friends. Life was ordinary. I was 10.
Mum told me the night before that she was going to go to jail. But I'd heard her and Raymond, her boyfriend, talking about it – so I knew it was going to happen. I went to court with mum, but I wasn't allowed to sit with her. She was in the dock. Before she got sentenced they told her life story – all stuff that had happened to her – I didn't know some of this before; I felt a bit angry.
I only had to move next door, to stay with Raymond, but it felt like a big move. Everything changed. The rules were different. Instead of being first in the shower, I'd have to wait for Kylie, that's Raymond's daughter, and she'd be in there for ages, and sometimes I'd be late for school. Kylie was mean to me sometimes too. One time she was cooking cheese on toast and I went to make some too. I opened a new packet of bread because the old one only had a crust left. Kylie said "Dad said we have to use all the bread before we open a new packet!" I told her I didn't like the crust; but she says, "You should be grateful." It was just a piece of toast.
I visited mum every week, and she rang me every night. Sometimes I heard arguments between mum and Raymond on the phone. Raymond sometimes didn't want to spend money on petrol to drive up the country to the prison. (Mum was at Tarrengower.) That made me pretty angry – I wanted to see mum and this was the only way I had.
When I visited we'd sit and talk outside at the back. You could sit inside or outside, for as many hours as you wanted to, but I couldn't talk to her in the middle of the jail with people around. It wasn't as easy to talk. And I couldn't tell her stuff in front of Raymond. I wanted to stay for overnight visits, but mum didn't want this. She thought if I spent too much time there, I'd get used to it.
I felt sad when mum was in prison, because everything had changed, but mostly I kept everything in – feeling sad and stuff. I'm always gonna remember what happened – that feeling of being on my own.
You don't have to go through everything by yourself
Harry sometimes felt really on his own, even though he saw his mum regularly and hadn't moved too far from home. Harry also kept his feelings to himself. Lots of kids whose parents go to prison do this – they don't tell anyone how they feel or if they are having problems.
Sometimes you need to be brave and ask for help.